adeyyy id0p

kenapa sy kena buat double entri?

adakah kerana sy memang men yukai benda2 yg berbentuk kan tulisan?
ehem*al maklum la..sy kan mmg genius.XDD*

tp

TOLONG LA, time skola dulu pantang nampak tulisan

ABC tuh pun da cukup menyakit kan jiwa dan raga,XDD

belum campur lagi dgn camne sy akan tertido time exam..
nampak je ayat panjang2 camtuh, confirm tido.

mata xdapat dibuka

kekwan.

ini dipanggel sindrom mengambil exam.

kertas exam tuh sgt la seksa.

bet0l sy xtipu.

hanya sebab sy tak0t sy akan tertid0 pas nampak kertas tuh sy terpaksa bawa mp3 everytime ade exam.

baru la xtertido.

best taw, leh gak men2 bang pale, cikgu mmg xkan pasan. yela..
dy peduli pe kan kan?

cikgu tuh mati2 ingat sy nga cari ilham utk jwb paper tuh..rupe2 ny ade patrick disbalik nye.


sib0k mendgr lagu and tgh pecah kan pale.dgn memikir

lirik lagu nie..camne eh??mcm penah ku dgr je..tp di mane ya?

itu la sy..yg smmgnye nampak terlalu baek.

cikgu, maaf kan la anak murid yg durhaka nie...


sy xtiru pun cikgu, TP kat meja tuh kan cam AJAIB taw..

tibe2 leh lak muncul answer2 kat sane.

or ketas2 yg melayang dari satu sudut ke sudut len.

sy BETUL xmeniru.


neway, entri nie buat sy terpk..

sy mmg sgt2 geram dgn budak tuh

sgt2

buat sy rase yg sy mmg xdpat la kwn ngan bebudak.adeyy

perlu ka anda buat sy rase sebegini rupa??


pape la, kalau awk mmg rasa bahagia dgn buat sy.

sy perfectly xkisah.


*wut a lie*

sy da xnak buka yahoo mail sy, gile byk mail yg xterbuka.

dah la sy xdpt cari mail lame2.

adeyy,payah

tuh la ain, xsetia tol. suke ngan hotmail j, yg yahoo wat dunno lak.

ish ishh ishhhh.


dah la.malas lak nak komen bebyk.

out

im still ain w0key?

i wanna post about this girl whom i recently know,

even if i deny thousand of times pUN, i realize i am someone who over-sensitive,

you can blame the hormone,thank you.

in some weird way, i found myself opening my ol'diaries.

and then i had this de javu kinda thingy when i kept staring at it.


pheww.wut a memories.

i love my LIFE.

yesh I DO.

ahaxxx


who say if i didnt love means i will DIE??

hahaha

i got soo many things to do and many people to LOVE.,

come come let me LOVE you

guarantee one, sure best if i love you.XDDD


and i caught myself laughing when i remember SOMEONE Say im so not very bright gurl.


Okie

thats so not true..


im AIN wokey.


because i am AIN.

then only im weird this way, and yes i have dual personality, maybe MORE?lol lol lol

hahahah

self centered bastard,XD

omigosh, i so loving retro

the other day, i went out with jia, she STOLE the tshirt i HAD my eye ON.

music is my SOUL.

damn la euu

few days at home, felt like i should blog more, but since i realize i can do better than sleeping at 3am and then wake up at 2pm the next day really not helping.

and im eating more than i should.

ini kah yang di nama kan sebagai depression tahap cipan?

adeyy.


okies, i never should do this.


damn boring la.

staring at television and drooling over seung ri who look damn hot on that tuxedo.

or fantasizing on how my next fanfic should sound like


too much of smut?

or too much of angst?

maybe a sweet teen love story?


none of this help on my so-called depression.


wait, i should stare at HIM and yes HIM, god, you are sooo..XXXXX

hahaha


;punish me please, i am so not a GOOD GIRL. WTF:


this time around, i do wish i can do something more touching thing?

living not about making yourself alone happy but doesnt it sound better,
if we can share every little thing we do with anyone and everyone?

love meant to be share, and sharing is caring.

right?

happy chinese new year

happy CHINESE YEAR.


^^

may prosperity surround you through out the year.
may happiness walks in every single day in your life.

and may god bless all of you despite which religion we are.

this year will be awesome and great. please look forward for the great thing that about to happen in year 2009`

and appreciate to have all the blessed people in your life.

and our land still in peace.


xoxo
ain

just like being shot

credit goes to wondersmurf.

총 맞은 것처럼 정신이 너무 없어
chong majun kotcheorom jeongshinee neomu obshi
웃음만 나와서 그냥 웃었어 그냥 웃었어 그냥
ooseumman nawaseo keunyang ooseoseo keunyang ooseosseo keunyang

허탈하게 웃으며 하나만 묻자 했어
heotalhakeh oosumyeo hanaman moodja haesseo
우리 왜 헤어져 어떻게 헤어져 어떻게 헤어져
uri wae hyeohjyeo oddeokeh hyeohjyeo oddeokeh hyeohjyeo
어떻게
oddeokeh

구멍난 가슴에 우리 추억이 흘러 넘쳐
goomongnan gaseumeh uri chookee heulleo nomchyeo
잡아보려 해도 가슴을 막아도
jababoryeo haedo gaseumuel magado
손가락 사이로 빠져나가
sonkarak sa eero bbajyeonaka

심장이 멈춰도 이렇게 아플 것 같진 않아
shimjangee meomchyeodo eereoke ahpuel got gatjin anha
어떻게 좀 해줘 날 좀 치료해줘
oddeokeh jom haejyeo nal jom chiryohaejyo
이러다 내 가슴 다 망가져
eeroda nae gaseum da manggachyeo
구멍난 가슴이
goomongnan gaseumee

어느새 눈물이 나도 모르게 흘러
oneusae noonmoori nado moreugeh heulleo
이러기 싫은데 정말 싫은데 정말 싫은데 정말
eerogi shireunde jeongmal shireunde jeongmal shireunde jeongmal

일어서는 널 따라 무작정 쫓아 갔어
irosoneun neol ddara moojakjeong chocha kasseo
도망치듯 걷는 너의 뒤에서 너의 뒤에서
domangchideut kotnun noeui dwiyeseo noeui dwiyeseo
소리쳤어
sorichyeosseo
구멍난 가슴에 우리 추억이 흘러 넘쳐
goomongnan gaseume uri chookee heulleo nom chyeo
잡아보려 해도 가슴을 막아도
jababoryeo haedo gaseumeul magado
손가락 사이로 빠져나가
songarak saeero bbajyeonaga
심장이 멈춰도 이렇게 아플 것 같진 않아
shimjangee momchyeodo eereoke ahpeul kot gatjin anha
어떻게 좀 해줘 날 좀 치료해줘
oddeokeh jeom haejyeo nal jeom chiryeohaejyeo
이러다 내 가슴 다 망가져
eeroda nae gaseum da mangkachyeo
총 맞은 것처럼 정말 가슴이 너무 아파
chong majeun kotchoreom jeongmal kaseumee neomu ahpa
이렇게 아픈데 이렇게 아픈데
eereoke ahpuende eereoke ahpuende
살 수가 있다는 게 이상해
sal sooga eetdanun geh eesanghae

어떻게 너를 잊어 내가 그런 건 나는 몰라 몰라
oddeokeh noreul eejeo naega keuron keot naneun meolla meolla
가슴이 뻥뚫려 채울 수 없어서
kaseumee bbong ddeuryeo chaeool soo obseoseo
죽을 만큼 아프기만 해
jooguel malgeum ahpuegiman hae
총 맞은 것처럼
chong majeun kotchoreom

credits: lovecubedlee

TRANSLATION

Like being hit by a gun
I really don’t have any mentality
Because only laughter comes out
I just smiled
I just smiled
I just…

While smiling hopelessly, I asked for only one
Why did we break up
How could we break up
How could we break up
How…

** CHORUS
In my punctured heart, our memories flow … they over flow
Even though I’m trying to hold on, even though I block off my heart
They slip through my fingers

Even though my heart is cold, it doesn’t seem like it hurts
How can you do that? Please heal me.
At this rate, my heart will break completely
My punctured heart
**

Already, my tears flow without me knowing
I hate being like this but…
I really hate it but…
I really…

You stand up and I follow
Aimlessly I followed
You’re running away, from behind you
From behind you
I cried out

** CHORUS

Like being hit by a gun, really
My heart hurts a lot
Although I hurt like this
Although I hurt like this
It’s weird how I can live

How can I forget you?
I don’t know how to do that, I don’t know
My heart is pierced
It can’t be full
It hurts as much as death
Like being hit by a gun

credits: CHARM* at soompi (:

and i took this from qeagrumpygirl. credit goes to her.XD thanks heaven.


`in some weird way, not that weird actually. i found myself get very addicted to this song.

it just makes me think how hurt a person could be at one time.
and the process of getting through it. its not easy as people thought it would be.

sometimes you just wish you were dead. and just dead.
and sometimes you wonder why everything happen to you.

it should be HAPPILY EVER AFTER right?
then, why it become happily NEVER after?

you wake up everyday like usual but still, you were walking like a zombie.

feel so stupid.

but, things just happen that way, and you realize you are not in the control anymore.

blind.

what you felt was just hurt. and it hurt so badly that it left a deep scar in your heart.

but this is how a break up should be.

hurt is part of it.

time will healed you.

this is story of a girl.

who the hell is JIA.

nur najiha ahmad.

this gurl in tudung, this gurl who looks so nice and damn blur most of the time.

she's not fairly ODD princess, she's not the vietnam maid, and no, she's not the pelarian dr kem.

she just my best friend who been together with me for 4 years in counting.

we cried.

we laugh.

we fight.

we pull each other hair.

we shop.

we whore.

we even turn horny.

yes, we have all the qualities that qualified us to become world most IDIOTIC NOT MAKING ANY SENSE BEST FRIEND.

even so, we love each other. and we still spend most of our time together.

it was on year 2005 when i first knew her, she was NEW KID on school. wandering around the school without bringing money to pay for our school club, being the ever so-nice me. *ehem*

i borrowed her my money without asking much.

she took it with her and thank me.

that is how we become closer than ever.

oh well, we were not like other bestie for sure, since we mind our own freaking business most of the time.

we never been in one class or even any thing that can make us see each other often.

we just close that way.

jia, remember all those letter?
haha.

i don't remember where i last put it but damn memorible.

sweet right.

form 5 science 2, is the class where we actually reunited together with my other best friend LOW KAR YEN.

we sit in one row, and god please help the teachers who bear the noises.XDD

i still have the paper that we wrote about spooky ghost story under the ceiling that have this weird black hole which looks like the scene from 'dark water'
and it was on monday where it was all gloomy and very much raining the whole day.

we sat in circle and talk endlessly bout how this spirit from the hole above the ceiling is a girl who lost her boyfriend which were gay.

i should admit, i become so scared that i couldnt sleep that night.

damn.

and we never study hard right. wakakakka
we always....get that constant mark for our exam. haha.

and yea, we still did our best for the spm didnt we?

after that, we've work together. and remember how crazy we were?

we sing BIG BANG song while we were walking.

or how we 'climb' the escalator that was going opposite.

and how we cam-whore inside fitting room and get out like nothing happen.

we even spend most of our outing without failed in sg wang.

we done most of the crazy stuff together.


i love how many tshirt in pairing that we have.

we should buy bikini after this.hahah. right right.XDD

when i went to NS, you called me every weekend without caring how much it will cost you in the end.

and i still hate the fact that we wont be going to university together,
yes. very much.

i hate to go back to KL after you called me to say you were going to matrix in gopeng.

but of course i was happy for you, i really did.
i wanted to see you become doctor najiha, the one i proud to have and called as my ever-lasting bestie.
i love to share my life with you, and i did promise you that i will protect you no matter what happen. i kept my word.

i hope in 10 years to come, we be able to look back and laugh at how silly we were when we still teenagers.

after i come back, strangely we have connection like soul sisters that eventually your life and mine were connected.

im talking about how weirdly it was, that your college friends is my friends too.

see, we do share our life together right.

we are so close that my house already become her second home and her house always open for me.

we share our stuff and we talked like there is no tomorrow.

in my prayer i hope, we still will be friends for infinity.

i love you nur najiha.
forever.

hhaahha.

nak jd cam baek sgt je, yg penting budak nie adalah kwn baek sy.

dan kalo nak tulis sal pe yg ktorg 2 da wat mmg xkan cukup la blog nie..

oit jia, jgn bajet da la.hehe

syg ko gile2 r.

muah muahh.

sox that rox

SY memang TAKOT pd KETINGGIAN. dan roller coaster tidak terkecuali dr senarai amusing thing that i HATE yet LOVe the most.

hati sy telah berbicara;

'ya allah, pasti kan mangkuk 2 ekor yg gumbira tgk sy nie akan menyesal kerana telah membawa sy yg tersgt INNOCENT ke tempat sebegini. AMIN'

ehem.
















;iye, SY BAJET AYU DLM PICTURE INI. please dont dare to comment.
BUT but, its not like im the one who so wanting to bajet ayu wokey, but ANNE said that I am way toooooo GANAS ;the way i sit la;
AND THEN only i cover ayu like this... ehehe. she's to BLAME.

i finally ride in MERRY GO ROUND. my dream place, oh-so-love.



















mereka ber-2 la yg telah me-rosak kan sy yg terlalu baek ini.
sekian terima kasih.

















no u guys, i dont hate you guys i just dislike both of you. ahaxxx

omigosh jan sab can you believe this???

this munky on the left and crocodile on the right is MY FRIENDS. WTF. wakakakkakaka

and because i am soo nice then only i[ain] befriend with munkies and crocodiles. thank you.

yes, i am NICE.

hahaha.

BUT anne jia, thanks alot for making my day happier than going to TADIKA.

it was indeed make me giddy and my head was on cloud 9.

i am that happy and i couldn't thank you guys more than i should.

omigosh, im trying bein nice again. XDDDD

wth, eii. wut la...u think im kid from block pe? bawa g tempat kanak2.

xde keje ape?

sy telah pun berumur 18TAHUN.
wakakakaka.

neway, i had fun. dont you??

the next day ...punye next day we went to sunway. i already blog bout it and here i going to put few snap shot from our outing.

JIA ANNE KAK ATEN. THANKS FOR THE MEMORY.
hope we can go out again. *finger crossing, eyes glittering*













tlg la, BG SALAM BEFORE AMEK GAMBAR LEH X?


ish ish ish.











; KAMI SKATE. okey.bukan sy tp MEREKA dan sy DGN BANGGE NYE TELAH MENG UPAH DRIVER MERANGKAP SKATER PERIBADI. dy bernilai RM13.

SY BERJANJI SY AKAN SKATE DGN BAEK SELEPAS INI. RM13 SGT LA MAHAL.












i love this pixxx.. i wont comment more because somebody will get so hyper up IF she read this.











in memories, thank you very much for bein the precious part of my life.
thank you for being there when i need someone, thank you for cheering me up whenever i feel down.

and most of all, thank you and thank you for being my F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

i can't explain how guilty i felt toward you guys, anne and jia.

but i can explain how i feel appreciated since i know both of you.

; d rase terharu x?
hahahahhaha

okey okey seriously, you rox my sox and that sox already have HOLE on it.

thats how u guys meant to me.XDDD


the title SUX like hell,damnit.

peace out.
XOXO

jan jan, i DO UPDATE.heeee.

thank me thank me.hehe

ps: i love using BROKEN SMS BM in my blog. YAY.^___^

im goin to change my template to xtml. so no more cute nice layout for your eye view.XD

sy blog dlm BM.XDD

hari ini, sy sgtla ber-inspire utk me-post dlm bahasa melayu kerana sorg minah nie la kan.

pg td..bgn lambat pas dpt msg jia pun..still ley malas2 atas tilam tuh.

g pun, mmg xnak kot buka msg2 tuh. nyampah lak.

reason?

senang j.

sbb. sy sentiasa rase mesej itu sgt la xBERGUNE lg MEMBAZIR. tp.
ayat j bajet gile, ckp j kot xnak mesej la..xnak pandang enset la..ntah pape g la..

tp.

SEND MESEJ gak. adeyyy.

kali ni,sy berjaya xpandang enset. xsentuh msg dan DAN plg PENTING.
SY XREPLY pun mesej2 tuh.

HEEE.

BANGGE X??

hahaha

mesti jia bangge..akher ny ain da bertaobat gak.XDD

masuk balik cite td, jia send msg ckp, OIT BGN R. nak kuar nie kan.

sy yg masih mamai2 tuh..mencapai enset jauh2.

sah JIA xnak tgk sy bAHAGIA.

org mimpi dpt kawen la weyh.tlg r.XDD

sblm sy sempat tarik balik selimut sy tuh, dy da pun send msg ke2 yg berbunyi

'bgn r.da mandi LOm nie'

adeyy.

sy terpaksa tipu utk sedapkan ati dy tuh.

sbnarny tak0t dy marah je pun.hahah.
sumpah..dy mmg menakutkan bile dy nek marah. takot gile, ngan mak sy pun xtakot kot.

oleh itu,sy telah pun ter-send msg ..

'da.bgn da la.nak pkai baju'

KONon. pdhal xgerak pun dr tilam sejak an hour ago.


pas stgh jam dy pun smpai la..ke umah sy...

sy kibut kuar dr tandas trus ms0k bilik..pakai suar dulu.

KONON Nak buat cam,...da lame da siap...BAJU JE HILANG..XJUMPE G.hehe

neway,ktorg still dpt gak kuar n g times square.

jia, jgn bgtao org kite g mane before g ts ngan sg.wang.hehe

g times square..ishh....mulut mmg xde insuran kot.

slalu sgt nak tego org yg lalu lalang tuh, ade j benda xpuas ati.

jia, PERLU KE WAT SUME TUH? APE MASALAH KO?

hahahhaha.

di antara soklan penting yg kuar dr mulut jia sendiri ialah,

knape..knape kena pakai camtuh?

cantek sgt ke anda utk men dedah kan isi2 dan ruang2 terbuka di atas badan anda itu?

[maaf atas penggunaan bahasa melayu sy yg kurang betul ini, sy hanya berjaya dpt....utk BM sy.]


PERLU KE?

sy pun tertanye2 jugak, knape..kena dedah kan sume itu?

bajet ke?

atau.

setakat tunjuk anda seksi seksa kerana...anda tidak cukup menarik?

PERLU SGT KE PERHATIAN?

ingat eh, if sorg lelaki nak kan anda, mereka sgt la penipu kerane.

mereka hanya nak kan badan anda itu.

so.sedar2 la ye.


ish. ayat BM sure kena la..if cikgu BM terbace blog nie..atau..dewan bahasa.

haizzz

xngaku kwn kot jia tuhh..adeyy.. malu seyh.

so,topik ktorg asek berbalik pd benda yg same..PERLU KE TIDAK?


ktorg pun byk teringat kat cite zaman dolu2.
time kat skola.

kisah silam yg sgt.....

xdpt la nak tulis...mmg...terlalu susah nak describe la kot..

tp yg penting, ktorg mmg ckp satu hari tanpa noktah.

ye, perempuan kan. mmg suka ckp walaupun sume yg kite ckp tuh sgt la xpenting dan xde kaitan ngan DUNIA langsung.

nie yg nak pomot..global warming sgt2 nie..
hehe


sy end up tido kat umah jia mlm nie...

agak takot sbb..jia tuh....ske....

ishhhh..arap2 sy still slamat ...bile sy bgn esok..

and plg penting...

im still virgin wokey.

sy sgt2222 teringin nak blog dlm BM..pasni da leh gune ayat skema pjg2 tuh..

heeee.

budak itu..telah berjaya membuat sy blog dlm BM..thankies. =3


okie la.nak kena g tido..sblm jia pasan sy da lame dok depan pc dy..ishhhh.

esok sy cite..

SIAPA JIA YG SEBENAR.

sign off

AIn.

2008

if i sober again,that will make me the biggest loser in earth and not to mention.
i already am ONE.

pretend YESH.

SOBER nope.

damn it. everything will be fine neway,

i live FINE before. infact i was DOIN great in everything.

eventhough life were never that perfect but im cool with it.

its my life neway,i dont have much to complaint.

not sure until when i gonna cries my lungs out, retarded.

*slap harder*

wake up.


lets move on to my wish list.ahasx


i wanna be happy. LOL OF CUZ I AM HAPPY.

i am freakin fine,with bunny earphone plug in my ear. YES I AM FINE.

so dont ask .no more question.nEXT

you see, i have great friends, i meet a whole new group generation of friends as well.

2008-unexpected truth the hurtful year.

recalled it back.

i was top candidates. YAY.

i started to not so into LJ-ing Kpop Meme-ing.

i got a whole bunch of new friends..

i have malay friends ehh..ahhahahahahahah. WAY2GO.ain

family exchange. i work for many new places.
and i learn that, im good in events managing.

i went to NS and heck i really did work my heart out. i gained weight after i back from NS.^^

but drop back after come back.hahaha

my birthday was awesome in 2008^^

but the things after that wasnt great.

o yea, i went to finale of so you think you can dance.
haha
i dance at the stage and met up with ying2 and wing yan.

and i am so much in love with adam that time.
he is so breath taking, that i almost apply for the job that require to meet him everyday.hahaha

but i pull myself off, damn ain, you are not easy.
hahaha


and i still go for dates actually...

i've been booked from august until december.hahaha

we plan so much ehh right. but..i didnt go for all of it.
damn lazy la.

i went for few dates....o wait. is it like too many of them??

i went to ipoh..i met my sweet heart<333
after good 4 years of bein bestiesss.finally reunited.

erm,to break it off la.
too many unexpected things happen.

so,lets close this diary and open a new one.

hwaiting ain.

you'll do better this time.. you will. so don worry and keep holding on.^^

skating academy

btw,i didnt write bout my outing with my friends.

cool eh.

i still regret i didnt go to the party. they drink martini?LOLLLL

i'll start from what happen the night before we went to sunway ice skating.

jia was attacked by strange and sudden headache that makes me and anne stop watching TWILIGHT-freakin H.O.T VAMPPPXXX.
ps:JAN you need to watch this.XDDD

and i were saying,we stoped it and helped jia to sleep.

it takes only few fine minutes to make jia sleep.hehe

and because she sick,we in the mid. between me and anne. haha.
something wrong with us neway..

we start messagin each other`noted. the silent take place here.XP

i become so damn...how to express this?

devastated?
wrong.

donno la, but seriously i stare her to death. YOU READ MY WUT?!!!!!!!

haha.

and the drama took it action in here,sober. ishhhhhh

later, both of us didnt talk with each other.

until i get up and went beside her..so we talk a bit..actually...we talked until dawn.

damn,..and we still need to go to sunway that morning.

she such a wrecko.<3

she took candid pic of me.XD

that afternoon we went to sunway...erm. we went to pudu first to 'fetch' k.aten.

i like her. she such a...sweet heart.

we headed to sunway, i forget how to skate and i end up cuddling anne most of the time to ride on her back.hahaha

and k.aten hold my hand to make sure i didnt fall..but then jia and k.aten both want to see me fall..they want take pic.LA SGT.

i remember falling like damn hard...i hold anne back..and i lose my balance..
because i DO NOT WANT TO FALL ALONE...i push her down as well.hehe

overall, we had great time.

it was fun..really.XDD

jan u OWE me a skating lesson.heeeps.

and we come back home real LATE, i guess we have been doing this for few days in the row.

again we plan to watch twilight, jia fall asleep and..i follow her next.LOL

i promise to anne i will talk..hahaha
i didnt.SORRY.

and jia....jia...jia.......


jiaaaaaaaaaaaa...........haha.

you been there most of the times. now,lets finish this together eh.
haha

many things to do KAN.

ur FUTURE PLAN.EHEMMMM.

YOU ARE LEGALLY MARRIED TO ME.

wait,...how bout my other Bb...

i promise to marry....almost everyone.hehe.

but neway,YOU ARE MA 1ST after Ky. eh..

ntah .something like that la.

we go honeymoon at..korea this year wokey.

xoxo

still.with.me

i guess,the way i blog here and my LJ is far different.
even the wording that i am using is opposite with the one i mention in here. XDD

im such a weirdo, its still the BLOG la ain. adeyyy.

let me peek a boo through my LJ journal and compare with the one i already write in here,
and btw, chee hoong dont complaint much bout the words i used. HAHA. you sei alien. spagetti.XDDDD



YIN LI, my freak post is long because the owner is short. ops. sort of. XP

get me?!!
hahaha


okey peek a boo time.

go back to my last year post in LJ,

Life is damn crucial

The more i try to avoid everything the more closer it seems to be.

i told this once.not being myself is the worse thing that could ever happen to me.
i bet my SOUL-MATE is laughing his head out seeing me oh-so-vulnerable.

Since i-want-to-get-over-you doesn't really work with...you-should-not-be-name.
I literally throw myself into another conclusion.
If you still treat me like im your girl.its ok.but remember this.
i stay by yourside now is only because i do not want you to change become someone else.
i do not wish to create a monster.

I hope i put myself clear here.

[i post this on sept 3rd 2008]

in memories.LOL

i guess i am more comfortable writing in LJ compare to blogspot.
the feeling there is more alive and i can pour everything out. Despite, im writing amongs the stranger. and those who reading it are around the globe yet in one term, we all have one thing in common.


MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING.

they might do not know you,but they willing to be there for you.
they try to make you happy, remember all those fanfic,smut or even angst. they write for our soul, to make us feel better.

we share everything in common,all those communities.

in conclusion, i just can't live without my Lj. its like my undead secret kept forever in there.
XDDD

So,today.

emotion

define it.

`An emotion is a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Emotions are subjective experiences, or experienced from a individual point of view. Emotion is often associated with mood, temperament, personality, and disposition.`


credit goes to wikipedia.

i cut this off here.haha. or someone will complaint my post is damn long.

tag by jan.XDD

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.




Name : farah ain. and thats all. dont try to change my name or i whack you to pieces. heee.
Sisters : three
Brothers : -
Shoe size : 4 heeps. i am small in sizeXDDD
Height : DON ASK BOUT MY HEIGHT. NEVER.AGAIN. kthxbye.
Where do you live : earth HALLO.
Favourite drinks : bug juice. YUMMy^^
Favourite breakfast : errr....im not choosey..but...large bowl of cereals, with eggs,muffin,sosej, baked bean...ginger bread with mushroom soup...will do.haha
Have you ever been on a plane : is WING consider as plane as well? it can fly,i swear it did.hehe
Swam in the ocean : is sinking on water count? hehe. i almost drown thou. i hate swimming.
Fallen asleep in school: OF CUZ who doesnt.hahah.XDD
Broken someones heart : err.maybe? but im INNOCENT w0key,didn meant it =3
Fell off your chair : DUH...XDD
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : i end up looking pathetic la.XDD please dont try it at home.XDD
Saved e-mails : i only save LJ's and DBSK related emails.
What is your room like : like kena langgar with lorry je. Plain white.LOL
What's right beside you : table?books,bag,handphone and 2 mugs with milo in it. wut else?
What is the last thing you ate : my mom cookings. damn spicy feel like my hand all burning from the heat.ishhhh.XD
Ever had chicken pox : seriously?
Sore throat : err...if i sing too loud in bathroom yea,i will get one very often.XDD
Stitches : oho,yea. i get one when i was racing with my friends last time, hahaha.
Broken nose : i don wish for one.
Do you believe in love at first sight : can i ask you the same question back? heee.
Like picnics : yeaaa.like muchies.=3
Who was the last person you danced with : with Munkies and CroCodiles.
Last made you smile : some stupid random cute so sweet messages from my homies^^

You last yelled at : miiinnn... sorry honey.
Talk to someone you like : homies ehhh^^
Kissed anyone : perv JIA.haha
Get sick : Sometimes.
Talked to an ex : No.
Miss someone : erm...
Do you sleep with stuffed animals : does stuffed patrick boaster pillow count?? he is starfish.hehe
What's under your bed : nothing i guess?
Who do you really hate :Back-stabbers! Two faces people!!dishonest and ppl who live with intention stuck in their forehead. GET A LIFE PEOPLE.kthxbye.
What time is it now : 1.55pm


RANDOMS


Q : Is there a person who is on your mind right now : as in anyone or anyone special? or anyone as in anyone??? haha
Q : Do you have any siblings : threeee sisss
Q : Do you want children : if the father of my baby is...you know who.hahah. damn want it.hahaha
Q : Do you smile often : yesh yesh.i do.XD
Q : Do you like your hand-writing : depends on how neat it was. or.how fugly it turn when my mood swing.LOL
Q : Are your toenails painted : not yet....le.
Q : Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : depends on with WHO i sleeping with.AHAHAHAH.XDDD
Q : What colour shirt are you wearing : blue with choco sweater.
Q : What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday : linger around carefour.
Q : I can't wait to : GET A FREAKIN PEACE LIFE. yay.^^
Q : When did you cry last : erm......this is sensitive.LOL
Q : Are you a friendly person: DUHHHH.of cuz. havent you heard bout ME??.hahaha
Q : Do you have any pets : my herotic hamster, ni chan and miko chan.
Q : Where is the person you have feelings for right now : my heart broken la weyh.. where got peeling anymore.haizzz.
Q : Did the last person you held hands with you mean anything to you now? : u GUESS??
Q : Do you sleep with the TV on? : i don watch tv,tv watch me .
Q : What are you doing right now? : Blogging, MSN-ing,LJ-ing, and finishing FMM event.
Q : Have you ever crawled through a window? :i wont try this at my homey..never.
Q : Can you handle the truth?: It depends.
Q : Are you closer to your mother or father?: i close to my LJ ,my Mom where got time at home one la..adeyy
Q : Who was the last person you cried in front of? : sengal JIa.
Q : How many people can you say you've really loved? DBSK.HAHAHAHA.okey.
my family.my bestiesss'my friends that really close with me....
Q : Do you eat healthy? im sorry?? pls define the word health for me..haha.XDD
Q : Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? : omigosh. never.
Q : Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? : yes. like shit. i sober one whole month. damn it.
Q : If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? : i'll blog it out, or find someone close to talk with them. or i punch anything closer to me or run one whole day OR watch StarMoON at night while listening to my mp3.
Q : Are you loud or quiet most of the time? : Follow my mood actually,usually im LOUD but i can turn QUIET when..i found the atmosphere rather ODD.
Q : Are you confident? Sometimes YES, sometimes NO.
THINGS YOU DID 10 YEARS AGO.
( 9 years old )
1. Studied in SRKJAP
2. babi one la, all forgetten.haha
3. i was insane. wait wait, i kick a boy right at his.hahahah...XDD

SNACKS I ENJOY.: i just eat wokey. don care much.

5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED IN
1. somewhere in selangor area,[damn bb to recalled it]
2. water honey.hahaha. direct translation from AIR MADU.
3.is toilet count? i always sleep inside toilet when i have to go to school last time.haha
4. now im at earth, tomorrow im goin back to sky high academy.XD
5. pahang.my CAMP NS memories^^

5 JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. Promoter at Sg wang.
2. Office work in gazallion of place
3. fully HOUSE MAID.haizzz
4. erm..being student oso count right right???
5. ...erk...bein a good motivator.hahahah.XDDD blif me. i done this before.hahaha


im not feeling like wanting to tag anyone, so just feel free to do it by yourself eh.^^

kevin words

get back up on ur feet. dun dwell over the past but embrace the future.

ps:kevin told me this.

thanxxx dear^^

word of wisdom

btw. i miss the year end party with fc oso.

haizz
soo many things i miss out. damn it.
curse me inside,!!
haha
ciaozsz

doink

i post double..haha.
too many things i wanted to say;
i miss the new year eve celebration that day with sab and jan.
ishhh..

dAMN REGRET.

we should partying that night right. i saw all those pic u guys, ishhhh

i should be there too, damn nice!!!
and i miss the chance to meet my sabbie...awwwwwwwwww

imissyousomuchh.

you already back to singapore,dont know when again we can meet right.
unless, me and jan plan a trip to singapore.ahaxxx..

right right.

okeyh.and sorry i didnt tell both of you what did happen. erm.

really am.

i love jan and sab. serious. i do. sorry my lovesss.<33


And and, guess what...


i miss out alot in LJ world, too many things is happening.
VIP attack Cassie?

OMIGOSH.

really?

ouch.hurt my pride. LOL

idontknow.

like too many of them.


gah~~ ain ain. where the hell did you go, you miss out a lot of things.

and i ruined my relationship with all my close friends..

especially jan.sab...suki suki wai wai....

haizzz

traumatic

i dont wish for the same thing,never again.

i prefer i forget everything like....i dont know a sudden amnesia maybe.

really wish.

i dont want to pretend but i can act thou?

its the same thing right.

am i too into myself,?
someone told me this,

no dear. i am not.

usually i am not.

i am narcassist. i know that. but i am no selfish.

or self-centered.

try to know me,without showing me you are checking on me.
i bet you'll know more about me.

or perhaps, if i catch you that way, i will show what YOU want to see rather than What i REALLY AM.

i done this million of times. always.

You'll never know who i really am, dont dig your own grave.


xoxo

ain

leave it all behind.

lets face the truth.

walking ahead is better than turning back and still wondering around right.

i still remember reading every fanfic and little to i know,i did wish.

'my love story will be like this'

hahaha

ironically it did turn out in such a soap-opera drama crossed way to which i have no avail.

nah~ i wont reckon it as a love story,
haha

love story is more like

[HOW TO LOVE A ROBOT IN 10DAYS or OCEAN WE SWAM]
now,thats what i trully called as love story. eye tearing. heart breaking.

but in some good way, i found all my friends standing infront,behind and in every angle they can find to give me a support, not to mention all my friends in LJ world.

and as much as i want to admit, i found myself wrapped up in the world i least expected.

Yes, i am hurt...but..i cant let all the hopes down.
those who wanted to see me happy,my dearest...my family...

they rox my sox.to heaven.

i really2 wanted to mention few important names here,
jia, our world is like the bridge to terabithia.ahaha. damn connected.

wait wait my BM jumping to come out already,

ehhh..camne nih ehh...terlalu twisted la an...idup kite 2 sgt berkait, wokey.thanx.bye.

end of speech.

she totally proof to me that she stick to me no matter what happen, damn touchy.
and total perv. ishhhh....

girl i love ya. to the core. and when all the hopes is gone, remember im always here. twentyfourseven. my everlasting heaven.^^

and my biggest surprise was when people or my honey bunx like...chris..sunday..siew mun..
defne...shawn...kevin...who else? idontknow..

so much ppl stand behind me,hoping i will be fine, really moved.

and my loving teacher, miss gloria.

she really bring the tears in my face, she come visit me..and..says all the thing i just need to hear to get my spirit on. and thanx for the kimchi teacher.

sa rang hae.
promise i will study hard.hahaha pinky finger promise^^

and then there is someone like anne and nani.

wokey, this is weird. i meant its not like we know each other that well and we really not studying together.period.

and still, in some unique way, we become friends.

seriously sounded like we are damn closed kinda thingy thing.

idk, i just don't go well with....malays? i guess. ahax. am i even allowed to say this in public?LOL

lets turn back the time, i end up in sooo many malay geng. yet. i didnt stick loyal to one.
i always thought its not good to be racist.
since,i myself is a mixed of 2 race.

i play my part neutral where i remember,i jumping from one geng to another.
and just to take care of my own business,who cares what other people think bout you?
YOU DONT LIVE FOR THEM,right?

people still will talk,whether you are too good, or too bad. so,leave them
dont be bothered.
you got plenty of things to do than minding what other might think bout you.

in other word, FOR GOD SAKE,PLEASE DONT WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS FREAKIN TIME.
use it dumbo. you can learn in every go,find new friends. people come and go in life and there is very few that stick to you like glue.


PS:this is reminder to me as well.haha.
i waste time by thinking how other think bout me, gosh i better start thinkin how earth is moving.
or wait.

WHEN AGAIN THE END OF THE WORLD?
hahaahaha.

so here i go again talking bout how crap is life when you care too much bout the MIND.

anne. wokey,
May i tell you, this girl is special.

like seriously, because for me..its hard to find someone who knows and very much aware of the surrounding or shall i say.
I MAY LOOK LIKE I DONT GIVE A DAMN,BUT MIND YOU. I KNOW EVERYTHING. AND YES. I MEAN. EVERY LITTLE THING.

she give me spook like that.haha.
its like, i know that she know whatever that i know which imposibble to other to know and nobody know but me and her. yet we act like we dont know.. get me?hahaha.

yea, she's like that.

the more i know her,the more i think....i get attached to her. she remind me more of myself
that i should be strong no matter what happen.

and life were never meant to be easy, you just should act like it was and it solved everything.

thanx to her actually,i gained back my level of confident and of course back being the bitchy me.

she didnt realize this,haha. so yay, i should treat you someday gal since you help me a lot this time.

i hate GOOD PEOPLE, please dont hide behind your mask.

haha
nobody consider as GOOD, look at me, im a biatch. and i say next to no good girl in me.

Nani, she's ma gummy the bunny.

okey, i never was that close to malay's and these 3 people are the very few malay that close to me.

like seriously, i do have malays friend...but...usually i wont try to be close to them.
even if they try, i back off.
thats why anne jia and nani is like precious gummies in me.

haha. get me?
okey la. i am freakin boring and my work is piling up. i should finish it before my work end at 6.

and shooot, my lj friends. damnnn. i love each and every one of you guys.
i do i do.
marry me pleaseeee.hahahaha

i promise i will be back with new fanfic. hopefully *finger crossing*

i let too many ppl down...not bein me.

i dont know, i guess i done too many sin..

and...i feel really burden deep inside with all the things i done.

i know its not good, so. i wanna beg to those who i hurt their feeling.
and to those who i betray with my soul

i am on my knee, apologize to every single thing i did.
i know words wont change it, and for that. let me do something in return so that i can make it up to you guys.
i am sorry.

ain