i'm goin for another hiATUS.haha

saya budak lepasan spm 2007.

apa yang ada kat saya cuma saat2 kat sekolah je dulu.

bahagia?

;ain sungguh bangga dengan diri sendiri time tuh;

tapi, sape tuh ain?

name tuh da xde meaning dalam hidup saya.

ain. ain. ain.

cuma sorang budak. cop. remaja? yang tercari2 makna hidup and akhir nya
jatuh cam tuh je.

jatuh disini bukan bermaksud

;pada pagi yang indah ain jalan2 kat taman Kampung baru air panas, tiba2 kaki ain tersepah batu dan jatuh lalu ain pun sumpah seranah menyalahkan batu itu.

cis, batu tuh xbersalah pun. yang xde mata itu ain bukan batu.;

tetapi bermaksud

;ain tersungkur dikala mencari makna hidup, ingat kan dunia itu indah..tapi
tipu muslihat...dusta munafik merata2. ain pun jatuh dengan teruk sehingga
dah xde makna nak hidup da pun.;

:oke. saya saje nak nampak bajet cool ngan gune ayat gempak.XD;


ain. ntah nape name ain nih da jadi sangat janggal untuk disebut. and ada ketika saya harap saya boleh tukar je name saya.
given option,

syukur mama saya bagi nama punya panjang, at least boleh main tukar2 nama kan.

thankies ma.

tapi, saya sumpah nak muntah kalau la ada orang panggel saya fara

kwn2...jom practice ea..

oke

1
2
3
say Fara ea..

UWEEKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;penampar hikmah pun hinggap di pipi;

tapi TETAPI

;anda dibenarkan panggel saya FARA atas DASAR PROFESSIONAL AND KERJA SAHAJA kthxbye;

ain?

saya benci nama nih sekarang.

seolah2 name nih da xwujud bagi saya.

but bagi saya, ain memang dah lama mati.

pada 24 disember 2008. perempuan bernama ain dah pun mati.

;ada rasa nak bagi penampar x kat saya? suka2 saya je nak merendah2kan perkataan mati nih;

who say im not afraid of death?

i am, i was and always will.

saya xpun merendah2kan mati, infact either way people will die. its just bout the timing kan?
may it be fast or may it be late.

5 second from now, god knows when my life akan kena tarik?

;tibe2 hati kecik ain pun berbicara, cisss, xcukup amal nihhh.!!!;

nih je kot sebab utama xleh mati dulu, cuz amal xcukup.

saya pun takot ngan statement kat atas. amal saya sentiasa xcukup.

bein a human, mistake and more mistake become part of life right, and bein a women and a girl to be exact. my desire is almost on everything.
from there, my mistake piled up.

the fact was, HUMAN LIVE TO FULFIL THEIR FCUKING DESIRE. TO PLEASE THEIR INNER PLEASURE.
satisfaction is everywhere in them. and they say next to NO satisfaction.


but i am sure im not alone on this.

to those who used to know me with that name, NOTED. ain already death.

her death body can be found at the opposite side of klcc convention centre and infront of the park at klcc.period. time body discovered was at 9.01pm on the date 24th of disember 2008.

;dont ask why. i used to love that place for ages. until memories kept me away from it.;

death ceremony held in her resident at wangsa maju area section 1 konar konar at sri rampai masuk sri utama international school and terus masuk kanan and kanan.

may ain R.I.P

amin.M

bila rasa ku ini.....

maybe sometime, its better to ignore everything and pretend you are fine,

because

sesungguh nya, saya terlalu lemah untuk menerima tamparan hebat

may it from my own best friend or even the past people in my life.

yes, hati ini dah terlalu hancur.

"mengertilah, betapa hancurnya hati ini. cuba rasa apa yang saya rasa."

should i cry now?

running away from everything really won't solve anything.

and its crucial i remember everything dari awal sampai akhir.

DIA.

awak punca semua ini, awak penyebab utama saya dah kehilangan semua.

thou, i do realize saya memang do not want to blame myself for this.
instead, i blame you.

i lose everything

my home

my family

my trust

my hope

my dream

and now

i lose one most important thing in my life.

my dear life.

its hate to say this toward my own self.

do you know how difficult i have to go through just to pretend i OVER you?

i dont have any feeling for you, no more. or how people start to look at me like I'm a devil send from hell?

regret?

its that even a word?!



now. saya betul2 dah tak berdaya untuk meneruskan semua ini.

i swear.

please, whatever happen in past or happening now.

i pray.
please. go away.

i dont wish for another heart breakin news, its already have a huge hole in it. cant you see?

saya sangat2 tertekan.

my head feel like exploding.
where goes my spirit?

where goes everything that i hold on to?

question left like that.

i want to runaway, go far away. i don't want to stay in here.
please.

goodbye,

bleeding hati.

kuciwa t0l ngan s0rg pmpuan nih.


sejak sy da mule menulis dlm malay, tetibe sy rase ayat malay sy cam power gak,kan?ahax

berbalek pd cerita td..

gile kuciwa.

bukan ngan sorg dua je, tp lebey dr 2-3 org.

thap kuciwa yg melampau-lampau.

ade rase nak ter gulik2 atas tilam dan ingin meng hentak2 pale kat dinding.

tp sy buat yg sblek ny.

buka lagu rock kapak tuh, fuhhh babe. sentimental gile siot..tambah ngan rock nye...!!!

dan dgn itu, sy pun meng bang bang bang pale sy.

dasat kan?

xubah cam .....

sabar je la ngan ain nih..adeyy


kuciwa.


gile kuciwa.


knape?


sy suke kat k0rg2 sume


tp


di buat ny sy sebegini.

ape kan daya sy, sy trime je la.

and hoping everything wil be fine.

adeyy.ckp omputih g...



naseb badan kan?


dah la, kalo dpk pk, konpem sy jd gilak, pastuh emo emo emo je memanjang.

buang mase tol;

;ain,lebey baek g tlg mak kat dapur tuh,dpt gak berkat.dr dok dlm blik emo je;

pastuh xckup ngan tuh.


time nga concentrate kat work,tetibe membe syg lak online,

dy da kembali kat gf dy

ape yg sy rasE?


KURENG TOL PUNYE KWN.

bukan nak bgta0 awal2

kot2 awk xonline ke ape sta0n tuh, mmg sy xkan dpt ta0 la nih kan.


hampeh jiwa dan raga.

kuciwa again.

cedey t0l.



konon rapat la sgt?

blah r. sume bikin ayat kasi power time awal2 kwn je kot,bile da lame.

xkenal pun kot.


payah tol idup ngan teman tp mesra nih.

mesti ade je saat ati di guris and di kuciwa.

tp

kwn tetap kwn

sy syg awk sume.

syg sesgt.

skrg ain, tggu masa utk di kuciwa kan lg.


haizz

sign off.